Brian Eno is MORE DARK THAN SHARK
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Fact MARCH 10, 2014 - by John Twells, Scott Wilson, Chal Ravens, Joe Muggs and Tam Gunn

"WHAT IS ENO DOING?!"

Brian Eno & Karl Hyde: The Satellites

John Twells: I hope the intern who produced this at least got some free drugs.

Scott Wilson: I have long suspected that Brian Eno's contribution to music has been vastly overestimated by musical history, and this abomination pretty much proves it. Everything about this song, from the MIDI horns and tinny drums to flat vocals, is irredeemably dreadful. Was this made entirely using Garageband?

Chal Ravens: So after forty-odd years of fiddling around with ambient experiments, African rhythms and self-generating systems, Eno's finally pulled the Oblique Strategies card that reads, 'Fuck it, just use the presets'. But does it bring a smile to my face? Yes, and by the fourth go-round I'm actually quite charmed by its faux-naïf aesthetic. Why not.

Joe Muggs: What the everliving fuck is with those midi preset trumpets? And the parping sax things? The drums are a bit shit too. I don't get it. Is there some conceptual framework that explains why it's all just silly noises? I think there's actually the core of something really nice in there - I absolutely loved KH's solo album, more than I've liked anything from Underworld for years in fact, and I can hear the same songwriting skill going on in here... somewhere... but just... just... WHAT is Eno doing?!

Tam Gunn: You know when you listen to something and you think 'well, actually, I could do this'? That doesn't need to be a bad thing, but when it's a Brian Eno track that seems pretty lame, doesn't it? That said, nobody admits it but bar the odd moment he's been crap for years. Hyde's the best thing about this by a distance.


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